"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a settting of silver" Proverbs 25:11
Apples of Gold is a program put on by some women at Grace Community Church here in Bartlesville. The program is 7 weeks long. Each week consists of a cooking demonstration, Bible study & dinner. The ladies that lead were our "mentors." To be a mentor is to be of wise and trusted counselor or teacher. These ladies held that title with such grace and love.
When I was invited I was very hesitant about it. I have never been one to hang out with a bunch of women for extended periods of time. And besides that, I was new to Bartlesville and I didn't know hardly anyone that would be there. I went with the encouragement of a few others and quickly realized how desperately I needed this opportunity. God is so good at leading you to the place you need to be, it is just up to us to follow that path.
Each week we covered a different topic. I'll list and sum them up below:
1. Kindness
Mentor: Cindy Molder
The verse that stuck out to me the most was:
Psalm 117:2 "For His lovingkindess is great toward us, and the truth of the Lord is everlasting."
Cindy stressed that kindness is an attitude that is contagious.
Sometimes as a day goes by and I am feeling beaten down and overwhelmed, I can stop and think about my actions and my words to others... were they kind? Most likely not. However, if I change my attitude then others attitudes changes towards me.
2. Loving your Husband
Mentor: Amy Snowden
Something that stuck out to me was this phrase that Amy got from a book.
"What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?
Really... take some time, think about that. You will be perplexed for a while... then relieved. God's mission is to make us Holy!! We were not ever called to be happy!! Hallelujah!!
Amy talked about two topics Respect and Sex.
I was very impressed... I honestly thought this lesson would go something like this...
Women, if you love your husband, have sex with him. The end, good night. Go home.
I was amazed when Amy went into detail about what it meant to R-E-S-P-E-C-T my husband. There were 4 points that she made:
1. If a man feels disrespect, he is going to feel unloved.
2. It's a CHOICE!!
3. You have to show it!!
- Respect his judgement.
- Respect his abilities.
- Respect in communication.
- Respect in public!! (I have had to learn this one!!)
- Respect in our assumptions!!
4. We have incredible power: build up or tear down?
Amy opened my eyes to a new way of looking at my hubs. The way I communicated alone was out of line. I wasn't giving him the respect he needed and deserved as the leader of our family.
3. Submission
Mentor: Nancy Skopak
Nancy and I have a history. We know her and her husband fairly well and enjoy spending time with them. It was great getting to hear her speak. Nancy was also a teacher for a while. I love this about her. It fits her so well. It was NO surprise to me when she brought out the visuals.
Nancy used the illustration of an umbrella during her talk. She said that we are to be covered with the protection of our husbands. Thus we stand under their umbrella. However, even our husbands are imperfect and their umbrellas have rips in them. Therefore the are to stand under the umbrella of the Lord. He has no imperfection or rips. He protects them from any falling rain.
The quote that stuck with me the most is in my bathroom so I see it every morning and evening (maybe more than that).
"Submission is an attitude of my heart. it's an outward sign that I place the goal of a life-long marriage first. This day I choose to join my husband under his umbrella."
This is a choice that is not easily made by someone who lived single for a while. (Much longer than I planned on!) I am very independent and do NOT want to "submit" to anyone! However, it is so amazing when I do. The dynamic of our marriage is so much better for it.
Now, I'm not saying I do this well, thus why I still need the reminders. But, I do try.
4. Loving Your Children
Mentor: Debby Nyhof
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping with his individual gift or bent), and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Psalm 127:3
Children are a gift from God, they are His reward.
Debby did a great job talking about loving our children. We do not have children right now, so it was hard for me to relate to this. However, it was fun hearing different stories of how others love their children. It was fun thinking back to ways that I KNEW I was loved when I was growing up.
One thing that she stressed that I have heard many of my friends with children say is that, our children are not ours. They are the Lord's. My first initial reaction to that is "Say What!!??" I do believe that I will be doing the birthing, raising and guiding... WRONG!!! How can I be so selfish. I do NOT want to be the one raising my children. I want it to be Christ through the hubs and me. Our children may not follow our "plans" or fulfill our "dreams" that we have for them... however, all we can do is raise them to know the love of the Lord. And pray that they are following His will.
5. Purity
Caroline Casselberry
Psalm 51:10a
Create in my a clean heart, O God!
My first thought was... "Ummmmm I'm married... what does purity have to do with me?"
Caroline sweetly showed me. I could go on and on and on about this.. but I'll make my summary as short and sweet as I can with a few bullet points to think about .
- Regardless of what you have done- if you are a daughter of Christ you are pure!!
- Purity is a FACT for a believer!! Can I get a hallelujah??
- Purity is shown in the way we live: what we say, where we go, what we do
- We are called to live above reproach
- When we leave the "plan" God has prepared for us, we are committing adultery against Him. Much like when a spouse leaves the "plan" of your marriage.
- Purity defined: The moral excellence i demonstrate in my life as I constantly do what is right in God's eyes.
- (My favorite) Purity is a position that we gain as a believer. At an event called Salvation. A purity that will NEVER be taken from you!! Again... hallelujah anyone??
6. Hospitality
Mentor: Kelly Spencer
Hospitality is - cheerfully sharing food, shelter, & spiritual refreshment with those whom God brings into our lives.
The points that Kelly made were great!! She did a wonderful job at opening my eyes to what it really meant to be hospitable. I thought that it was simply... having a clean house, having people over, offering them a drink. (All of which I stink at!)
1. Entertaining Christ
Matthew 22:37-39
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all your soul, & with all your mind this is the great & foremost commandment, the second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
2. Dedicating Your Home to God
Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who built it.
* Regardless of how it is now, with God's help, your home can become a home of hospitality.
3. Showing Hospitality to Your Own Family
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go & when he is old he will not depart from it.
* Kelly shared many ideas of how to show hospitality to our kids. I am so excited to be able to do this. :)
4. Showing Hospitality to Others
Acts 28:7-10
(Its long, I'll summarize)
Paul was visiting an estate where there was a sick man. Even though it was not convenient for the family they hospitably welcomed him. Paul healed the sick man and others on the island. In return they honored Paul in many different ways.
5. Piratical Hospitality
Kelly said something that really scared me ....
She was not an organized person, until God gave her 4 kids.
(My prayer is this ... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE God, give me organization before you give me the babies!!)
The last week our husbands were invited to come. This was such a treat. We had been hearing so much about all the husbands but didn't know many of them. It was wonderful introducing Andrew to some of my new friends. It was amazing showing him what I had experienced these past 6 weeks. Now he knows why I loved going so much!! We also had an elder at our church speak to the men. He challenged them to love us the way Christ loved the church. (I'm not going to lie... it was hard for me to listen. I was thinking about all I had learned in the past few weeks. I was fighting back tears at how special it was for each of these mentors to pour into us. I was really struggling with self control!!)
Apples of God is over and I am very sad about that, however, I am so glad I was able to experience it. My heart has been overwhelmed with the love of each one of these ladies. I have made many new friends. I have even learned how to make a few things. (I could go on and on about the yummmmmie goodies... but I have to stop somewhere!!)
