Blueberry Muffins and memories...

Yesterday marked the 18th anniversary of my Grammies death.
When I first thought about it yesterday, I was a little bitter. I let my heart go to that yucky place where I don't sympathize with her, rather I get angry at her for making the choice she made. There is still are part of me that feels like she would be here if she hadn't made the choice she did.
She took her own life July 8, 1994. Some things I remember about her...

• She was beautiful. Her shoes always matched her purse which always matched her outfit. I specifically remember red shoes, gold shoes and this one green outfit. Now I look back and they were probably silly looking... but to this granddaughter ... it was the perfect look.
• There were 5 of us cousins at the time. Me - 10, Micah - 8, Morgan - 7, Brandon - 7 and Taylor - 6. That made me the oldest. (explains so much of my personality...) Before she died we had the opportunity to make several memories together including trips to Sea World and Six Flags and 2 or 3 week long adventures at Grammie and Papa's house. These weeks included things like: midnight snacks (usually around 9) made of banana splits; putting up a tent in the back yard, only to have it destroyed by a horrible storm that blew through; Baptist pallets in the living room floor; Christmas time around a perfectly apple and red bow decorated, tall, flocked tree; the drive from Dallas to Pampa in their cadillac-- 4 of us in the back seat and one in the front-- my favorite part was we made exactly 5 equally spaced stops so we could rotate spots. 
• Her glasses! Oh heavens!! They were huge! But they were part of the look. 
• Her hair! I live for the day when I can go to the beauty shop once a week and get my hair done in a boo-font! She had this beautifully poofed white head of hair.I can still see it... one of the few things I can still clearly picture. 
• She was soft. I never thought of her as over weight, I was only 10 and weight hadn't become an issue for me to notice yet. But I remember snuggling next to her and it was always comfy, cozy and soft. 
• She planned ... and every thing must go accordingly... this isn't what I remember as much as what I've heard. But I believe this is where I get the "my way or the highway" & "I've got this under control" attitudes! 

Those are just a few of the things I remember but most of all ... are blueberry muffins. We both had a love for the sweet, soft yumminess of blueberry muffins. I can remember, from as early as I could sit up, sitting on the counter in her kitchen and helping her make them. We used a box mix, the one with the blueberries in the tin. It was such a fun sweet time for us. I don't know if the other cousins shared this time or if I was the only one. To this day I can't make or eat a blueberry muffin with out thinking of those sweet times and memories. 

Grammie, I still love you dearly and miss you more than I could imagine. There are so many great things that you have missed in person but I know you have been watching from heaven, loving us through it all. I am sad about the way you chose to leave us, but I know it was harder for you to live than for you to leave. I know you are in heaven rejoicing with the King of Kings now, singing Praises to Him forever more. Thank you for giving me the courage to deal with my personal battle with depression. I don't want to get so lost in my own sad overwhelmed thoughts that I forget the reasons I have to live. 

Thank you for all the great memories! 

Going Home ...

Being a teacher has many frustrations and challenges, however, one of the many blessings that come with this profession are the breaks. My favorite break has always been Spring Break. It is MUCH needed by both the teachers and students. We all have a little bit of spring fever at this point and it is not a fun time to be cooped up in a small classroom!

This year I suggested to my parents that I might look into flying to Midland for my break and visit everyone there. With in the next two days I got a call back from my mom saying that they needed to know when I wanted to come because they were going to pay for my plane tickets. We worked the details out and it was set... I would spend 6 days traveling to Texas and seeing home again.

School was out on Thursday and I had to work till noon on Friday. As soon as I got home I packed and prepared for this trip. I was quite anxious. A mix of both good and bad anxiety. The good was ... seeing family and friends (including my teacher friends that I hadn't seen since the wedding!!) and the bad came from the fear of being away from Andrew for 6 days. We haven't been apart more than 4 days since we got married. I know I know... I'm a sap but you kinda get use to having each other around! Well the good news is that we survived. Both of us were so busy that it was hard to get lonely.

I left late Saturday evening and headed to Dallas. My Ettie, uncle Dustin and little cousins Emma and Ben live there. Emma and Ben are only 7 and (almost) 10. This had made our relationship much different than typical cousins. They are more like my niece and nephew and I love it. I don't have any real nieces or nephews yet so they are my 'trial run'! I get to practice my spoiling on them and then be a pro when I get my own. It also makes me happy that they will be able to do the same for my kids when they come around. Ettie (my aunt) and I have a special relationship. I have looked up to her for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories involve sitting on the bathroom counter watching her do her make up. She was only 15 when I was born and as far as I was concerned... she was the coolest chick I knew. It is fun to be with her and her kids and play "aunt" to them.

One of my reasons for stopping in Dallas first was to get a lesson in cookie decorating. I have inherited my Ettie's famous sugar cookie recipe. It is amazing and so delish!! (However, it is quite TOP SECRET ... so don't even ask!) I got my lessons and feel very accomplished! I made a batch this weekend and even my cookies taste better this time.

Cookies that we made and decorated. They were taste tested by Ben... he approved!

(after all, who cares what they look if they don't taste good!)

Poor Emma. The night I got there she had an allergic reaction to something. She had such a good attitude through it all. It broke my heart to see her so miserable. By the time I left on Monday she was showing some improvements and I think was better by the end of the week. The sweet girl has learned well though... she knew how to milk it!! 

Oh the food in Texas!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE Texas food. I had In-N-Out Burger, Steak and Shake, Labodega, Taco Villa (2 times) and Rosas... those are only a few of the wonderful things I had. That doesn't include momma's cooking!

On the way to Midland from Dallas, Brandon and I were on the same flight. It was scheduled to leave around 6:30 (I think) that night. Well at about 11 that night after many delays we were told that it MIGHT leave around 1 am. We didn't want to risk it so we booked a hotel and stayed an extra night. There are several things that I should note about this leg of my adventure. 

1. My little brother, who I use to taking care of... making decisions for ... buying dinners... well he stepped up and took care of EVERYTHING! I didn't have to go check our flight status once! When we needed to get a hotel he booked it. When I needed coffee (which was often) he got it. When my tummy hurt, he got me Rolaids. When I wanted to cry, he made me laugh. When I was HYPER from lack of sleep and singing my silly songs... he rolled his eyes and did his darndest to put a smile on his face! 

2. My brother paid for almost everything... 

3. My brother is awesome. 

4. My brother and I are NOTHING alike ... thus why we had a BLAST being stuck in the rain. 

5. We 'hailed a taxi' to go to Wal-Mart to get this needy sister some essentials ... he paid for the ride and I bought him some sleep pants... but we experienced our first taxi ride together... best part was the driver was from somewhere in Africa and we couldn't understand a THING he said! it was priceless!!

6. My brother's BRAND NEW iPad fell out of his lap and busted as we were getting off the shuttle. He didn't realize it was busted till we were back from Wal-Mart. He handled it like a man! I would have thrown myself under the next shuttle. (PS.He had a brand spanking new one 3 days later!)

7. If ever I'm to get stuck in any airport or town... I hope he is close by! We have now officially moved from being siblings to being friends! I'm a lucky girl!  

If you show up at our house in the evening and there are 4 people there (if I'm there at least) we will be playing cards. It is how we hang out. It keeps the TV off and conversation flowing... it is almost a right of passage in our house! 

This was lunch right before mom took me to the airport. The week was a JOY. I can't wait to go back this summer and spend more time with everyone! 

The week was perfect... it started out rough with the flight delays and such but it was such a joy spending extra quality time with Brandon. I can't wait to go back at the end of the summer!!

My daddy..

As you know, father's day was this past Sunday.
Saturday was our one year anniversary and along with all the chose from packing and buying the house, I let the importance of this day slip though my fingertips.
We are doing something for our dads... it will just be a few days late. This is good... its like a belated birthday gift... it is extra special that way... right? This is horrible! Andrew and I feel horrible about this. I can't believe that we can't even remember to keep up with the one day that "Good 'ol Dad" gets! UGH! We are failures as children. Luckily one of the things that our dads have both always shown us is grace... so yet once again... on Father's Day, they had to pull out the Grace Card and remind us that they love us with or with out a gift on Father's day. As a slight make up gift, in addition to the gift I'm getting my dad, I decided to write a list of a few attributes that my dad has:

1. He keeps his cool -I have seen the man loose his temper maybe 4 times my whole life, the only two I can remember are when I wrecked car #2 and when I caught my bedroom on fire the day after Christmas. Both totally justified. And trust me... I gave him PLENTY more opportunities to blow his top.
2. He doesn't judge others. I remember sitting at a wedding, my mom and I were saying this "I can't believe she did ______" "I would NEVER do _____" "That's the song I wanted to use!!!" "This is not what I would do..." My dad looked at me and said, "Do you want someone saying that about your wedding?" I am not going to lie... my first thought was, they wouldn't say that about my wedding... my wedding will be perfect!! Nonetheless I quit judging and actually ended up enjoying myself. It was a beautiful wedding! Now that I have lived through my wedding, and looked back many times, I have relalized that there were ample opportunities for people to say "I can't believe she did ______" "I would NEVER do _____" "That's the song I wanted to use!!!" "This is not what I would do..." But yet, my wedding was perfect! 
3. He rolls with the punches! My dad does NOT need a plan. The man can wake up and just take the day as it comes. I. Can. Not. Do. This. I need a plan, a schedule, a back up plan most days. Daddy has a way of just dealing with whatever life throws at him be it a wedding, a daughter  moving 50000 miles away, a son moving back home, car wrecks, friends coming over spontaneously... whatever it is, dad just rolls with it. And finds a way to enjoy the ride! 
4. Dad laughs every day. I don't think I can remember a day that went by where my daddy didn't chuckle at something. One of my favorite sounds is his laughter. Its really great when he is giggling and he doesn't mean to be ... like when he is watching the same episode of Seinfeld  that he has watched at least 6 times... and laughing... oh thats a great one!!
5. My dad shows grace. I can remember (a little too well) when my parent's found out some stuff about me in college. Some was because I was bold and strait up told them ... for instance I remember one conversation going something like this: We are sitting in Chili's, they have come to Angelo (Go Rams) to visit their oldest daughter who has been gone a little over a year when this conversation transpired.
   Dad: "Have you ever had any alcohol?"
   Me: "Yeah...." (I've always had an issue with the lying thing... you always get caught... so why even try!)
   Dad: "What all have you tried...?" (he had a hesitant look on his face as he asked.. like it almost hurt him to do so.)
   Me: "The list would be shorter if I told you what I hadn't tried." (STUPID STUPID STUPID... there were so many other thing I could have said here and STILL been telling the truth!!)
   Dad: (After a moment of letting it sink in) "Well you turn 21 in a few months. You know it is illegal to drink until you are 21. So, I'll just ask that you wait until then to drink anymore."
   Me: "Yes sir."
   After that the meal went on wonderfully but I'll never forget the look of disappointment that he had on his face. Not only had I broken the law but I was not as innocent as he thought I was.
   Around the same time in college, after a difficult weekend back home where I had opened up to my mom about some other stuff I had done, my dad called me when I made it back to town. The thing I remember most about that conversation is my dad saying something like this:
   "Heather, I love you, you will always be my daughter and I will always love you! No matter what!"
   That line was the first time I remember feeling grace. My daddy's ability to show grace when grace is hard has always been my one of my dad's most outstanding characteristics. 
6. My dad can't sing... but he does. I get my musical abilities from my dad. All of them. Neither one of us can sing... but we still love it. If a song is on and we know it... we are singing it. Its what we do. Deal with it. :) 
7. Daddy can fix ANYTHING!! Its true. Just ask him. He will fix it or try really hard to do so. I love this. 
8. He balances his check book. Every month. To the penny. It is what Mr. Hunt does. It is what I have seen him do every month for the past 27 years. Thats 424 months. Thats alot of check book balancing. UGH... I wish I would have stuck with this. 
9. My dad talks. He acts like he doesn't like to talk. But he does. And it is great. When we go to church, he is never standing around looking around. Nope, he is chatting with someone. And he is having good conversations with them. They don't just talk about the weather or the coffee. He knows about their kids, their grandkids or whatever... he is just that way. I love that. I like to do this too. :) 
10. My dad reads his Bible. Every morning. For as long as I can remember, I have seen my dad sitting at the kitchen table, with his coffee and a bowl of oat meal, reading his Bible. It is amazing. It is inspiring. 

Daddy, these are only a few of the traits that I know you hold but, we can't let the world know all the good stuff about you. They might want you, and even though I'm 50000 miles away... I still need you.
Love you so much!!

We have an announcement...

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are adding to our family!!
This weekend we made the choice to expand our beautiful family. If you know us then you know of our two precious babies, Buster Boy and Cami Joe:

Well they have recently started getting along great... Cami ALMOST likes Buster. It is the cutest thing I have ever seen. They run around the house chasing each other as quickly as they can... or fighting over the toy of the moment. They are a riot. I cant get enough of them.

This Saturday we went to the Bartlesville mall in search of me some workout shoes (different than 'runnin shoes') and we didn't find ANY (that weren't out of our 'decent' price range)!! However, while scavenging the mall for stylish, yet affordable workout shoes, we came across a booth set up by the SPCA.

Andrew wanted to go take a look and I thought 'why not, there was some pretty cute pups in there!!' So we stopped in and played awhile. I was drawn to a Pekineses and he found a boxer mix. According him the pekineses was too 'fluffy' and I thought the boxer was WILD!! So we quickly got ready to leave. As we were walking out there was this sweet little Border Collie sleeping in his cage. We asked if we could love on him a minute and they let us. He snuggled up to both of us both instantly. (I know they do some behind the scenes training on these dogs!!) We asked about him and found out this:

• he is a 2 month old pure bread Border Collie
• his first dad bought him to be a playmate to his dog, however that dog didnt like that idea. 
• he will only get to be 45 pounds
• he DOESNT shed 
• he is good with kids 

We walked around the mall and talked about the pros and cons about adding to our family. As you probably know, we tried this once 2 weeks after we were married. It nearly ended in us getting a divorce. I do believe my words to Andrew one night were "Me or the dog!" He picked me!! Libby (the boxer we had) now has a good home with a little girl that could give her the attention she needed. Anyways, that was a different time for us. We were still learning how to be "us" not that we have it all figured out now, but we have been married a few more months and don't have the same issues we were having back then. Anyways, we stopped to sit on a bench and talk some more and Andrew asked that we pray about this decision. And we did. We prayed that God would give us a peace about adding to the family if it was needed to be. We didnt want to get attached to another dog and then give it up a few weeks later. We did have a peace about it so we went and paid the fee for him and took him home.
He is the sweetest bundle of energy I have ever seen. He is smart, active, silly, curious, active, fluffy, cute, active... the good news is that he sleeps! The first day we had him, he took a nap with me and slept all night. Last night he woke up around 3 or 4 and Andrew took him out. It was legit... the kid needed to tinkle. So he wasnt just crying to get out of his kennel. OH yes that is right, we are kenneling this guy from day one! There will be NO other option for him. (Unless I sneak him on to the bed for a nap occasionally.... he doesn't shed!)
Well here are a few pictures to show off our little Dudley Dolots!

Buster boy...

Cami Joe...

Dudley Dolots!

He is eating the newspaper! precious!!

Daddy and Duds!

Cami was LESS than excited about this picture... she didnt want to share my attention.

Buster wanted in on this one. He is quite curious about this little guy!

They are playing over tug with one of Cams toys!

Duds is daring Cami to come play... she isnt having it. 

Well that's what we have so far. Nothing too exciting but enough to let you see just how precious our new baby is. If you are in the neighborhood come on by. He loves to play and we don't want him to be scared of new people!